Do You Have to Try Marriage Counseling Before You Can Get Divorced?

Do You Have to Try Marriage Counseling Before You Can Get Divorced?

No, you are not legally required to attend marriage counseling before filing for divorce. Divorce is a legal process, not a therapeutic one, and courts do not make counseling a prerequisite to ending a marriage.

That said, a few situations cause confusion, so here's what actually happens.

Does a judge ever order counseling?

In most cases, no. Courts generally will not force two adults into counseling as a condition of divorce. The exception is in some custody disputes, where a judge may recommend or order family counseling for the children, or co-parenting counseling for the parents, if it's in the best interest of the kids. That's different from marriage counseling meant to save the relationship.

What about a "waiting period"?

Many states, Michigan included, have a mandatory waiting period between filing and finalizing a divorce. If there are minor children involved, that waiting period is typically longer. This is often mistaken for a counseling requirement, but it isn't. It's simply a cooling-off window built into the timeline, and you can use it however you'd like, including counseling if you choose to.

Is counseling ever a good idea anyway?

Even though it's not required, some people find it useful for two very different reasons:

• To process the end of the relationship, separate from the legal case

• To build a communication framework for co-parenting after the divorce is final

Neither of these change the legal requirements. They're personal choices, not court mandates.

What should you actually do first?

If you're asking this question, you're likely trying to figure out your options before committing to anything. The most useful first step isn't counseling, it's an honest conversation with a family law attorney about what divorce would look like for your specific situation. That conversation carries no obligation and gives you clarity the internet can't.

If you're weighing your next step, DAWN can walk you through what divorce would actually look like for your situation. Schedule a confidential consultation.